Hi,
I wouldnt use methalated spirits if I was you, as it's coloured, and it may leave a coating on the heads. Ask nathan_silly
what he uses.
I use a dry tape cleaner, and have never had any problems, I just use it when its needed and no more. Your right, they are abrasive. I only use the tape for 5 secs at a time.
Read this link to tell you about tapes & cleaning.
http://www.dvfreak.com/tape.htm