Personally I would never use an IR night mode as the quality tends to be very poor and it will record everything in shades of green and no other colours. There are other types of night modes, but I've never seen one that offers what I would consider to be acceptable quality.
I've only ever owned Sony camcorders so can't compare different makes, but sony do have what I consider to be a very good optical image stabiliser on some models.
My cam is about 5 years old and IMO still very difficault to beat without spending a lot of money, therefore I don't know all the models that are available, and what features they offer. I would need to look around the internet to find out what models do what, so I'm going to leave that to you

. IMO Sony have always made some of the best camcorders going, but as I have also said before, Panasonic are now getting rave reviews for their camcorders on this and other forums. Have a good look around and actually get to hold a few cams before you decide which to buy. Jessops are very good for this as they will pricematch a UK web site and also offer a 30 day money back guarentee, so if a cam doesn't perform as you want you can swap it for another - as long as they stock it!
Mark.